Peru has conqured me.

History has rewritten itself. Instead of this explorer conquering Peru through coffee, Peru has defeated me.  It was after my husband and I decided to give it another try. I roasted it to dark perfection, just the way we both like our morning cup. Once brewed, we drank or rather we tried to. Being has it had just finished brewing in the drip machine, it was as the same temperature as the scalding temperature people sue McDonalds for serving their coffee at. My husband poured his into a travel mug and set off to work while I left mine sitting on the counter until after my son had gotten up and eaten breakfast. Once it was at the warm, flavorful temperature one can actually enjoy a cup of coffee at, I drank. 

I wish my mouth had been burnt. The taste was similar to a flavor that I have never been able to enjoy. As soon as I was able to stop sputtering and I had found my voice, I called my husband. He answered in his quite work voice (he works in a cubicle environment were nothing audible is at a reasonable volume).

I have a bad habit of not allowing the verification time that the cell phone connection has correctly dialed the right number. About two months ago our DVD/VHS player broke while my husband was in Michigan or was it Ohio, never mind, he was away for work. I took it upon myself to get a new DVD player to replace the old one. It was ten years old. We ceased using the VHS portion of the player after we tried to watch a movie only to have our son ask what we were doing. 

“Why isn’t the movie playing? Can’t you skip ahead Mommy?” He asked as the tape rewound manually and then we had to fast forward to get to the show.

“Well, this isn’t a DVD or Netflix. It’s a VHS.” Quizzical looks from my son (he’s three) made me feel old as I found myself saying, “Back in the nineteen hundreds when you mommy was a little girl, there were no DVDs …” 

Anyways, I am in Target looking at the selection when I realize I should include my husband with the decision of which brand is best. I pull out my phone, press his picture and select his mobile number. It rings. Then a man answers. This is where my bad habit finally bit me. I launched in about which DVD player would be the best and start giving the specs. 

“Wait, wait, wait.” The voice interrupts me. “Who are you?”

“Isn’t this Chris?” My voice sounded red with embarrassment of the answer I knew was coming.

“No, this is Henry.”

Yeah, that could have gone better. So, back on topic; I called my husband up at work. He answered with a quiet “Hello.”

First, I verified it was indeed my husband before I announced the mystery flavor we tasted with the Peruvian beans. "Do you still have some of the coffee in your mug?"

Yes," he replied.

"Drink some. While you swallow think of this, black licorice."

“You're right. That's what I've been tasting."

So I called up my sister in California and asked her if she liked the taste of black licorice. With a no given followed by a why, I explained the Peru coffee. Then she reminded me of the coffee she had bought our mom in Peru (she is an officer with the Navy). It was supposed to have been a present. The problem when she sent it was that it had been unwrapped and without a note. It had arrived in a box of Christmas gifts at my house. My husband and I didn’t know any better, so we drank it. I don’t really remember this event, but my husband told me that we really didn’t like that coffee either and for the same reasons we didn’t like it when I roasted it this past month. Since my mom loves black licorice flavored things, and because she never got the coffee my sister meant to give her from Peru, I am roasting up the last of the green coffee beans to give to her when I drive up to Minnesota to see her next week.Solution found and note made to not buy Peru's coffee beans again.