The Language of Coffee.

"When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee." 
~ Helen Hayes

Photographer Unknown

When traveling domestically, this advice is easy to follow. Drive through a Starbucks or Caribou Coffee and order a beverage. The trip continues without the added drama of the uncaffeinated.

Traveling abroad is another story.
On a tour of Europe you could encounter over 230 spoken languages. 

In the European Union there are
23 official languages: Bulgarian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, English, Estonian, Finnish, French, German, Greek, Hungarian, Irish, Italian, Latvian, Lithuanian, Maltese, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Slovak, Slovene, Spanish and Swedish.

I have tried to learn Spanish, French and Latin.

After three semesters of Latin in college, all I can remember is what Dead Poets Society taught me:
agricola, agricolae, agricolas, agricolas, agricolatis, agricolatus.
The ability to parse the latin word for farmer won't help me order coffee.

My best friend from high school now lives in Austria. My husband and I have plans to visit her in the next couple years. Coffee will be a necessity against jet lag. 

What to do to get coffee when you can't speak the language? Charades? Mime? 

While these two options may be successful, the embarrassment might not be affordable. 

Using pantomime to get a cup of coffee is bad enough, but the embarrassment will last only a short while. However, the pictures friends or family will take of your desperation for coffee will last forever. 

I have compiled a few key phrases to prevent international embrassment.
Learn what you can say in French, Italian and German to order coffee.

French 
Is there a coffeehouse nearby?
Y a-t-il un café tout près? 

An espresso, please. 
Un café espresso, s'il vous plaît.

I would like to take it intravenously. 
Je le voudrais en intraveineuse.

A black coffee, please.
Un café noir, s'il vous plaît.

I am about to fall asleep.
Je suis sur le point de tomber de sommeil.

Italian
An espresso, please. 
Un caffè, per favore.

An espresso laced with brandy, please.
Un caffè corretto, per favore.

An espresso macchiato, please.
Un caffè macchiato, per favore.

I'd like a double cappuccino, please.
Vorrei un doppio cappuccino, per favore.

A black coffee, please.
Un caffè nero, per favore.

I am about to fall asleep.
Sto circa per cadere addormentato.

German
Is there a coffeehouse nearby?
Gibt es hier ein Café in der Nähe?
 
An espresso, please. 
Einen Espresso, bitte.

A latte, please.
Einen Milchkaffee, bitte.

I'd like a double cappuccino, please.
Ich hätte gern einen doppelten Cappuccino, bitte.

A mocha, please.
Einen Mokka, bitte.

A black coffee, please.
Einen schwarzen Kaffee, bitte.

I am about to fall asleep.
Ich schlafe gleich ein.

Coffee may be a global commodity, but language isn't universal.

Even if bad pronunciation abandons you to face jet lag coffeeless, the written word can save you. 
Print the list and place it in a pocket. It is as valuable as your passport.

I would love to here your coffee adventures, international and domestic. Share them in the comments box below or email me directly at sarahjorichards@gmail.com.